I'd have to say it is a little racist and anti white in my previous post, but I have one coming up that evens it out between all cultures! Stay tuned.:)
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
There was a shockingly honest study done in the 90s, a cultural demographic study in honesty that found the most honest people in the world to be African American women (now also the most educated on the U.S! Congrats, you deserve it!) and the most dishonest to be white men & women (followed closely by Latino & Asian Indian men, unsurprisingly:). My twitter experience has been the same demographic distribution.
Scepticism is mostly a white disease with a few wannabes from other races. Just like serial killers are mostly white in profiling. Whites, evolving and surviving from the ice age without the sun (caves, a lack of Vitamin e, cannibalism) appear to have this new/old disease manifesting as well.
Besides evolution and stagnation in the energy of the sunless, there is decay. There are three further areas to the disease: energy uptake, discharge and what can alter it.
The uptake appears to be an emotional/mental vampirism - a feeling of high by causing others discomfort or mental/emotional pain.
The discharge of used energy is emotional and mental dumping of many false and imagined slights and outrage (Martian). Often it is a slow, sneaky undermining of confidence in the typical narc gaslight technique "oh but you are childish/etc" in a soul destroying drip (flat sea creature, a nonwhite scep).
But this appears to be a gene and a meme. It probably formed the caste system and class system. People brought up or exposed to this easy energy cannibalism seem to prefer it to simpler more basic forms of uptake - Reiki, prayer, breathing, work/exercise, diet. They thrive when there's sedentary cerebral work with many minions, they're shallow breathers, no hands on healing can affect them and a diet of animal suffering.
I wonder if they're bored by ordinary food: vegetarian, vegan, fructarian and therefore love meat? Cooked protein and fat after all is easiest to digest. Of course and lastly today science and western education has spread scepticism all over the world.
Consuming innocent human and animal energy is rising to a peak. I wonder if it will keep climbing until emotional and mental cannibalism becomes the norm everywhere. Or if it will drop off to a kind of minimal 1%? (land and wealth accumulation has got concentrated in the hands of a few from the same process and like all pyramids attenuates).
Only recently did i realised that the sceptical disease state probably can't be healed. I could be wrong about all the above.:)
But in case I'm right, I need to put this down. The energy that should come from the crown is blocked. Their earth energy looks ok, though jerky and stagnant in turns, and they need to compensate with other energy draws. This is a problem to solve: where are they getting it from.
They're definitely susceptible to CME, kp changes even solar wind! So they're linked to the sun like it's kryptonite to their superman.:)
Another recent thing I've realised is that homeopathy needs prana to work on! You can't heal a depleted subject. You can't even heal someone with this kind of secondhand stolen energy! It forms a cape around them, to continue the superman analogy, that is both a shield and stagnant!
So when three of them did a homeopathic experiment each and none of them were healed, this confirmed the extreme nature of the problem. guruM, Martian have even done Reiki courses and can neither feel the energy nor use it!
My exercise now is to solve this riddle: Sceptics either can't be healed with Reiki or homeopathy or it might be very difficult to do so. I'll need to work on that idea from different angles.
I tried to listen to all three experimenters about where they might be short circuiting.
Adam was impossible to talk to. I don't think I want to go near that malign person again (though initially I thought he might be the most straightforward of the lot, seeing his documentation, I realise now that he's got the worst case of scepticitis! it's all a show with him - his fear is corrupting his attitude.:) But unfortunately, I don't know his source of stolen energy: perhaps the game is rejection with "please leave me alone"?
ttety gave me a lot of details of her experiment. Her timefog was a perfect candidate for Psorinum so why didn't it work? Psorinum probably works on the pineal? I'd she tried it once a month would it eventually break through?
She was so polite too that it was puzzling but only until the end when she, predictably, tried the dom game. Ah! A true scep confirmed!:)
She had an even sneakier game going behind the chatty facade with her 'tweet of the week' mockery. Fortunately avocado posted it because she didn't interest me enough to see her tl. And the quoted tweets on twitpane, are as usual erratic, so i didn't catch it! I was happy not to have 2 out of a sample of 3 without true scepticism or any confirmed alternate sources of energy! Lol.
So now I think I have it down down for three at least. But sceps appear to have an infinite small ways to steal as well. Money, land, control, power might be the big ways.
For the three birds in hands though: Martian of course as usual has his nasty game of wild, erratic accusations to draw in people's energy; Adam has his rejections and standoffish drama to feel great; ttetym her backstab & pretense of honesty while being cutting.
They're all energy vampires, with years of practice. What's more they're all white, stealing energy mostly from other whites and occasionally finding multi racial trusting victims to bully.
What's more, the blocking miasm appears to be the cancer miasm. Again back to that conclusion of 6 months ago when I abandoned it as not enough data to go on.
The disturbing thing is how difficult the cancer miasm is to heal. It spreads it's way across society adding narcs/victims both into the suffering, it multiples, drains and most of all, inflames, decays, and metastasizes into so many forms.
Disheartening since it is so hard to heal on the emotional and mental level, not just the physical. Poor things. I'd have preferred it to be any other disease but this.
I've resisted doing this for a long time!
* First, because I hate being pinned down (before I've fully opened my mind;)
* 2ndly, in Reiki there's only one stream of life force energy moving top down. This we fix as the Sushmana and forget about it;
*3rdly, I wasn't sure of the direction of the stream until Gunda's death. I've only ever worked with the Sushmana, which appears to be connected to the moon and quite useless for sun related, altered gene diseases.
*Living streams are very dynamic so this is just a model to work from. It needs work to bring in a lot of other chakra streams. For example, the forehead connects to the sacral chakra, the throat to the solar plexus, crown to the root.
The Ida & Pingala flat model is what I'm going with. It's probably helical like DNA though, but I have struggled with visualizing helicity and this is complex enough with a side to side model. For a simple understanding of the energy body as with the world, let's take the flatE route.:)
So Ida is the stream of energy rising from the right of the root to the left of the sacral. Then to the right of the solar plexus to the left of the heart. Last to the right of the throat and then left of the forehead chakra.
At this point it mixes and joins with the Pingala and Sushmana.
The flat Pingala does the same upward rise on the other side? or comes down, I'm not sure...
Down makes sense... But if it comes down Ida doesn't join it but, like deoxygenated blood, the de-prana-ed energy drops into a Pingala stream downward to the earth through the g spot hipjoint point.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Sky energy wants to go down.
Earth energy wants to go up.
Animals need their energy to go up first beyond the tip of the nose, then down, when dying. The old rat dying was struggling to breathe 3 hours after balancing between crown and root, then giving it prana around it's root chakra eased the breathing and it tried to scratch it's ear twice (?! for a min there, I thought it was healed miraculously:) then died peacefully with a very mild spasm (probably heart attack). The end was much more peaceful than it's been before.
Giving homeopathy is useless if the prana is low around the aura and blocked along the chakra line. This is why we probably don't reach the target areas.
Haha! I explained prana breathing to j and v athe. Both understood something else entirely! lol!
It's really just yawns. Nothing but yawns until your lungs can do it through the nose or ordinary breathing I suppose! I guess I confused them somewhat after I say that bit?:)
I'm thinking now that it's a method that the guides will teach each one differently.
With j, they didn't want me to give the history of how I came to it. With V, I think her learning of pranayama might have interfered with learning something new.
Even though she didn't understand it fully, j is better and not sucking energy off of me as much over the phone chats.
She also said she'd go get herself tested for thyroid which is so far, so good. She's out on so much weight, looks tired, is distracted, more childish than ever, resentful and faking it like when I first met her. There has to be some internal stress that's driving this odd behaviour, because at her best, she's a wonderful, intelligent friend.
I'm thinking metabolism slowing down and health deteriorating. And I'm hoping the damned tests will be sensitive enough to catch it early. Until then I hope this breathing oxygenates and keeps her healthy.
Not only am I teaching it too soon, since I haven't understood it either, I'm probably not teaching it right.:/
I'm beginning to see the stress of the sun in how the sceps behave. There are errors in their thinking, driven by emotion around a CME.
They don't read articles right and they're ready to blame homeopaths for anything, usually wrongly but easily manipulated by a faked post.
I caught avocado and ttyety at one such, closely followed by the Martian's more gross mental errors.
Sceps need you to know less than them to feel like more. What they don't have is an interest in learning new things or structuring their knowledge so that they know their stuff correctly. (19/8/16 argument w Martian who didn't know about global warming, infrared and uv.)
Monday, August 15, 2016
Oh! The drawings of ida, pingala and sushmana are entirely accurate!
This is a big surprise to me. I thought they were trying to show front and back diagrammatically. But the movement of energy in the Ida and Pingala are from side to side on either side of the spine.
*The root chakra too isn't one! *The Ida and Pingala streams are in the hip joint g-spots (which is why they hurt so much when we are ill and "out of balance").
Not completely sure about this next part but
* the Pingala appears to end in the right hipjoint, being the downward stream.
* the Ida starts in the left hip joint and moves upward.
* the Sushmana is the energy just below the sponge which travels in a straight line from the crown to the root (which Reiki heals) and probably back up. This is the front and back of the drawings that I understood right (This corrosponds to the autonomous nervous system? or maybe the sympathetic and parasympathetic? Not sure)
* the Pingala goes to the left of the spine at the sacral chakra, to the right at the solar plexus, to the left again in the joint of the front leg, right of the throat, and left jaw(?)/eye(?).
* then it turns at the forehead chakra, and starts down as the Ida through the other side of the same chakras.
Not sure how to heal with it but hats off to master choa kuk sui for even attempting to use prana for healing! It's all wrong in pranic healing because they don't do the breathing! (But they probably teach it in the advanced which I didn't do.)
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Sometime two years ago I feel in love with a narc F1 driver. He was self centred, silent, intense, shy and icy, emotionless eyes. I noticed how badly he handled interviews and how well a car. It peaked my interest.
The most interesting thing was how he breathed! You could hear the rush of air as he prepared to talk. Then he wouldn't breathe again for a long time, at least, not as deep.
But what kept me following f1 racing long after the crush faded was that *all*, ALL F1 drivers breathed in that same way!!
I think that prana breath is what makes them elite athletes at the pinnacle of a very very competitive and elite sport!
It's taken in deeper and held longer than an ordinary human holds it. That's why they're icemen and function under enormous stress.
It has something to do with hand-eye coordination and reaction speed as well. I've noticed it in some cats since then and going to see it in dogs.
Check out the f1 interviews sometime!
if you're doing it right (not sure if it's wrong though!):
first tears will flow
secondly a rush of thin sweet saliva in the mouth
then acid and/or bile rising (still burns my oesophagus 4 hours after stopping!). It must stimulate the stomach and liver to press down on the diaphragm while breathing deep.
This last is a new one today: something like burping but more like gas rolling ineffectively across with a deep rumble. Like when you have a stomach ulcer.
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
It astonishes me that people can talk about euthanasia for kittens so easily. They don't know how hard cats work to have them!
First, falling in love: I know males and females that are still bachelors 4 years after cat maturity from not falling on love!
Then the mating: one loving pair haven't figured out how to do it (2 years = 6 seasons!) and remain childless.
The forever loves: Magalu & Hero stayed loyal to each other until his death.
Banditti only mated with Manmatha until her death. Manmatha, who cheated on her throughout their marriage, hasn't mated since her passing. Remorse maybe, grief for sure.
Then the pregnancy: such a danger filled time! Legs full with water, they can't run or climb.
Then birthing: if premature or the bleeding won't so or sepsis (like Sundari) the babies & mama will die.
Then the agony of raising them, protecting them from rats, birds, dogs, rain, rogue males. Hiding them from humans. Teaching them how to survive. Carrying food to them as they learn to eat solids, chewing it for them. Changing places, teaching routines, escape.
All this just for ... nothing? For some random human to kill them as an excess? This was what science did for China's people. Today they don't have enough kids to carry a generation into old age. Leave the cats alone. Nature cares more!
Now that I've decided that Gunda could have been healed, sceps too.
The time to try might be during or after a CME (when their solar plexus is changing) and to stop before the geomagnetic storm hits the earth (when they're at their worst and most acidic and bitter). Usually 3 days. A kp5 isn't the best time.
Kp4 and up might be good to give remedies for acidity and bitter water rising from the solar plexus region.
A geomagnetic storm is not the best time to give them nutrients in food. It doesn't nourish.
Between geo prev - next CME time? There haven't been many such this entire 2 months (June end I started following)! Endless solar winds and CMEs and storms is this even normal?!
When the kp index drops low bp makes some animals sicker. A steady or slowly rising kp seems to be best for animals.
So, as far as healing is concerned:
*Gunda is another case of liver hardening that I couldn't cure. Too many of these for it not to be a pattern. Though it needn't be a failure of homeopathy to cure paternal DNA diseases, it does need looking into. It could be my own method at fault.
Now i think that it might be possible to heal it carefully if I start from the front root area (isn't the root just one chakra? It is, that's a relief!). And progressively heal upward alternating front and back chakras I might have more success. Or healing all 11 points together; or successively.
* The indications are that it might be even simplest than that - in triads of spinal remedies alternating with soft tissue/organ remedies.
*No top-down healing again. I've tried it often but the results have never lasted. I mean this differently though - the correcting energy *must* be drawn at the back forehead chakra to clear the entire channel for these liver dogs. But it should also resonate with the root uptake. How to do this I don't know ...
*The sun burns off stagnant energy in sickness. The first I've seen it happening was with Sonu, the previous alpha, now again with Gunda.
* Not really sure if this is healthy in non alphas though - what if it burns off the little energy you have? Thin/thick auras might need different exposure time.
* Energy healing too needs a rethink for scep dogs. They can't be healed on the four upper chakras without discomfort so the approach must be from below. Which means healing with high potency plant remedies and low potency elements.
* Scep dogs also accumulate too much stagnant energy that they won't get rid of. Hoarders and possessive kinds might have the same energy issues.
Long ago I'd asked the other reiki healers and homeopaths why healing made the living live better but the dying die faster. Pleomorphism is the only way to explain it.
Scep dogs like Gunda refuse the energy because they know they're dying. And that any healing will speed up that process!
Homeopathy can heal functioning mitochondria and cells but speeds up the death of those that aren't.
We need to breathe in prana first to get the microzyma and mitochondria working first! Prana breathing isn't just an interesting diversion by the Guides. It's essential to the process of prolonging life and healing!
Reiki works from higher chakras down but this healing comes with uncomfortable knowledge of all your mistakes. Reiki has always been drawing from the Akashic records and higher collective knowledge then!
Scep dogs like Gunda who *deliberately* do wrong find that being healed hurts when their conscious mind and ego is active. I've found it painful enough myself in an everyday way to know more even when I inadvertently hurt others! How much worse knowledge is when you've *chosen* not to know, not to feel or see suffering and increase it for the sufferer.
If the upper ones to the heart chakra are blocked, there's nothing but pain, guilt, shame, embarrassment and sorrow from getting Reiki when awake and active.
It has to be given during sleep when the unconscious mind can assimilate and digest the bad news that you've been very very bad. That explains Gunda's secret love of being healed when both of us slept.
Or at least when I slept so that my judgement didn't make it worse, add a layer of sorrow and disappointment to the energy. No wonder they say that we healers should drop judgementalism!! We're adding to the suffering!
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Gunda taught me a great deal about energy healing too by never allowing it near him. lol!
This divorce from the higher chakras wouldn't allow for healing. He was made uncomfortable by any offer - it was entirely mental, a choice, a decision! Worse, he couldn't bear to take up *conscious, kindly, generous* offers to heal - they were affronts to his status and independence! His 'no' was a turning away, a growl, running off and no showing up for hours. If something (even healing) couldn't be taken, wrested, fought over, won, sucked out of a reluctant victim, he didn't want it. Again, so like humans.:)
He took homeopathy easily in food, but since I feed so many I could put his only occasionally. Reiki he'd only allow from a very great distance and a few minutes ... as if it hurt his dignity to stand there looking annoyed!
But jokes aside, the lack of activity in the heart chakra and the chakras above was disturbing and frightening to me in the end. His back heart chakra was gigantic, overblown and flat like a zipped up bag. I could barely push it to move once or twice. The solar plexus wasn't feeding it any energy which explains the size. It also explains the stentorian breathing when he slept. If it had functioned even a little his thyroid might not have lost function, etc. If it had functioned what a generous dog he could have been!
Sceps will never benefit from Reiki and homeopathy either unless those chakras function; but the chakras won't function without energy medicine. It's a circular problem.
If the back forehead - front throat - back heart - front solar -back sacral - (front) root is correct, Psorinum, Ac fluor, Belladonna, Calc Carb, Kali iod, Lachesis his remedies drawn? I need to work this out so I could have healed him correctly and maybe saved him some crazy years, my poor deluded puppy.
I'm amazed by how complex, circular and impossible the energy cycle in the body is!
Even at 4 - 6 feet away, the energy healing was uncomfortable for him. The power he'd accumulated extended beyond that. In the last 2 days when he finally began leaking that energy, he didn't give it to the other dogs - he stood in the middle if the street in the sun, where it burned off of him like flames! With his photophobia, conservation of 'his' hard earned stash of energy and fear of people.
How very strange an alpha is! All the nearby alphas probably knew he was dying for weeks before - they'd teasingly aggress on his territory and run away - never challenging him. I thought they were mad to tease him at that time. Within a few hours of his death, all the alphas even far away knew he was gone. They were out in full force wagging tails when i went out to feed them. Maybe that's how he shared his power - not to the undeserving betas and thetas but with his greedy peers and scep equals. So like humans.:)
It was only by chance that Ac flor, Kali iod, Lachesis and other remedies fell into a natural sequence for him in the dogs food in 2015-16. It blew open the energy blocks serendipitously. By May he knew he'd not lived life the way he should have but was too far down that road to break his habits.
But even after he got in touch with his higher emotions (on and off it was never a continuous improvement), he felt too proud, ashamed and guilty to ask for energy healing. He'd sneak up at night to nuzzle into my hands or feet; or he would try to drive away the weaker dogs that hang around me to get close by default, but he could never take healing openly and lose his 'standing' with his group. (I see sceps have the same power problem on twitter.:)
Gunda, even with all his intellect, was never the most intelligent in the group. Surprising, but something about the blockage prevents them from seeing the larger picture. He often looked to his gf, Sweetie, for judgement of situations and to his best friend, Howl, for guidance in attack whether it was tactics or strategy. Howl himself has such poor judgement of situation that they were bad for each other. Howl does have an instinct for hunting cats, mice and rats and Gunda would be the brawn to Howl's brain, and this is where they excelled, unfortunately. They'd often gang up with rivals to hunt, but the truce usually broke down after.
The other dogs that Gunda beat down, if they were natural alphas, just got sick. Alphas never become betas or thetas. Their power just short circuits around the solar plexus and they get sick and many die. All the dogs drew Centaury as Gunda got sick which is the remedy for weakness.
(to be cont'd)
The last four kittens (out if the 11-19(?) I'd estimated were born in spring) look like they've survived.
A number much lower than I'd hoped, but higher than the 1 of the last autumn set (out of 15/20? can't recall) last year (Roguen who vanished mid June, presumed dead). 2 of the previous spring (gcat & squeaky out of 15/20).
Four females haven't reproduced for 2 seasons because they were too sick (2) or they nurtured their sick kittens through it (2).
All the kittens born out of the main seasons die before they open their eyes for some reason - maybe sick females don't ovulate in the correct mating season but in summer or winter and don't fall into nature's pattern?
Shilla had off-season kittens last month. Now she's with her boyfriend, Simba, again for two weeks. Her kittens must have died within that time. Young couple, so they may not know how to time mating yet for kitten-survival.
The two kittens who looked very sick a around the killshot CME (respiratory, nervous and intestinal symptoms) improved with a single dose of Uranium Nitr 3x when I bought it for Gunda (who it didn't help at all).
One still has some nervous overreaction (just now a crow cawed above it and it jumped high defensively) so not fully cured yet.
The symptom I went on for remedy use was 'inflamed eyelids' which is usually common in fip.
So a few things became clear to me from knowing this extraordinary dog, Gunda:
* humans hate and fear and kill alphas with good reason. These dogs don't fear us, are as power-savvy as us and DO attack even those who take care of them (something I'd scoffed at before as a lie). True alpha dogs don't have human alphas over them. Duh.
* Their intelligence is rogue, distinct, maybe even psychic. They connect to an enormous number of dogs. When he'd howl, dogs 2 km away would answer. *Every* dog knew he was alpha even when he acted docile, even as a teen.
*But this entire alpha enterprise is of the solar plexus. When I touched him on the spine in that region, the last week that he was with me, the energy was brittle and in tatters. He'd worn his nerves out for control, power, territory and with hate, envy, greed, possessiveness, etc. The cost was equally high for him.
* This has to be what happens to sceptics, narcs and unsociables even in humans. Twitter has a few and, while they're not canine, they hunt weakness in much the same way as Gunda, they're relentless and unforgiving, limited but sharp in it, and the desire for dominance and power feeds that insatiable appetite. There's suspicion, contempt and a vulgar need for proof all the time, even Gunda couldn't get by without it. (You know how dogs count upto 6? He counted more and would compare that I always gave him his equal share and then some ... which he stole if he felt it was beneath his due). This kind of excess leads to all kinds of health imbalances around the organs of the liver and nerve ganglion.
* vax was not the primary problem. He developed mental irritability and instability long before vax. For many years when I'd seen one or the other of Gunda's many violent vices in other dogs, I'd blamed the anti-rabies vaccine and the a-w community for carelessness (breaking the cold chain, poor quality vax, repetition). NONE of it was true for Gunda. Though it certainly made it permanent and impossible to heal with energy medicine.
* Ill-treatment and cruelty was not the problem that I used to think created aggressive dogs. Gunda had been both pampered and priviledged. Except for his terror as a baby (that Reiki should have cleared in the first week), he'd never been without love or food or care a day in that first year before he began aggressive hunting. Privilege makes alphas worse. Alphas are just naturally narc, insatiable and, if sceptic, very destructive, greedy, harmful.
* Neutering doesn't solve dominance but only the portion of aggression that's is connected to testosterone! Just the final push of an adrenal and testosterone spike during a fight, fright or flight response. Unspiked, while there's no escalation, the attacks are relentless.
* Dominance is from the solar plexus. Until this point I'd always thought it was from testosterone, the sacral chakra, connected to sex. It's connected to power. Most of the bitter IRC arguments about rape were because I believed it was from the animal brain, the solar plexus not just the sacral. I was right - sexuality doesn't motivate rape, power does.
* Maybe in the end he died of something like Addison's disease. I couldn't have safely got a vet to him to find out, even if local vets have heard of the disease (Vets here don't have western concepts because the don't learn about FIP, Addison's, etc. and have no tests for it). But considering how shredded his spinal nerves were and the lack of homeopathic reactivity, no material dose could have prolonged his life. The insulin/adrenal/thyroid combo supplements and blood transfusions of Addison's are too high tech for small animal medicine here.
* All his problems began from his mind. The anxiety and fear. It altered his breathing which altered oxygenation and everything else followed after.
* Like biblical end-timers who think Jesus will come and save them from their miserable lives because they're sweet, the weak dogs think getting rid of Gunda will bring purposeful existence back. But scepticism *is* the change that will survive any future storm, not faith! These dogs will need to work on themselves a bit.;)
* Though the weaker dogs celebrate his death, they are wrong. Without a strong leader (however misguided, like Gaddafi or Saddam) they are vulnerable. For now they have me, but if I'm gone, men will torment them into leaving one by one. Gunda took the heat and diverted human emotions from cruelty (to the weak), into fear and hate of his strength. That was as brave and unconsciously generous as any leader.
I learnt much from him.
Monday, August 8, 2016
[long&boring, depressing, sad; it's just to remember him. do skip! next energy stuff about this, more intellectual:]
Gunda died today (7 Aug) at 4:30 pm. He was sickening for a week quite badly, last 3 days with very difficult respiration. He was 5 years old. Too young to die but it's a miracle that he survived so long.
I loved him so much, hated him so much and learnt so much from him. He changed my life and thinking regarding animals and medicine forever.
I'd picked him up as a rescue, a week-old puppy, barely-open eyes, screaming in terror on the sidewalk. I searched for a mother and siblings but couldn't find then (mom probably died of septicemia after giving birth which was especially prevalent in the pregnant dog population that year). I found the siblings a month later - two dwarfish from malnourishment, one cheerful & friendly but bloated with worms. All three were as intelligent as Gunda.
All of them charmers, so they were quickly adopted by the local population, ignoring my pleas to keep then together so that I could have treated them.
They probably died in that month without homeopathic support because I never saw them again. Gunda was already twice the physical size of his wormy sister and four times the size of his dwarfish brothers.
He was the sweetest puppy in the world. Charming, friendly, intelligent, dancing when I sang and learning at a phenomenal rate, Gunda was astonishing. A high IQ, precocious, enormously strong, empathic puppy who looked like he would change the world.
He could have been a doggy Gandhi or Adi Shankaracharya, a canine superhero. Here was an alpha to beat all alphas, and I had a ringside seat to watch it happen, Reiki to help him and homeopathy to keep him safe! Or so I thought. So wrong.
At first, he'd learn something from each dog and person he came in contact with - open, receptive and strangely, studying them. (Later I realised that he'd been looking for exploitable weakness.:)
He'd spend his day following me, protecting me from everything his size and larger, making me laugh at his courage. He'd look hurt when I laughed - never liked being laughed at!
And he slept more than most puppies. Always on me, on my chest, touching me. I didn't mind. I knew abandoned puppies needed more reassurance than fully parented ones. But it worried me as he grew older and the need was never satiated. The narcolepsy too would hit at times and his breathing would get stentorian and laboured right until the end of his life.
The other peculiar thing was his deep anxiety and fear. He fronted courage as much as he could, but would break down suddenly and lose all confidence when he was in situations he couldn't understand. It reminded me of me!
I wondered if he'd absorbed it from my own energy - the sudden imagining of the trend to a finish, imagining/expecting dreadful and horrible things.As if confronted with the unnatural, malignant or evil in the ignorant or in a situation.
I put it down to the wild imagination that goes with higher IQs, but I should have paid more attention. This is the start of disease, a main trigger.
In time, the puppy grew into a handsome dog. In his teens (10 - 16 months), he fell in love with a pretty girlie to whom he stayed unquestioningly loyal till his last breath ... the sun rose and set because of her!
He'd fight for control of the group on and off, but took it in his stride when he was repulsed. He was 10 months old and had Life smiling on him! His love of food made him plump, good natured and distracted.
Then something enormous changed inside him when he was about a year old. He lost all perspective in puberty. Maybe he got bored, saw clay feet on his heroes, reached a testosterone peak of transformation. Maybe it was a CME or the then-alpha female, Sonu, developing cancer or even me falling sick and being weak. Whatever it was, separated himself from everyone mentally and emotionally.
He'd learnt enough, developed contempt for his weak friends and anger at his strongest. He scorned a hug, a cuddle or a kindness from me, wouldn't come close enough for a pat on the head. His entire demeanor was distant and unfriendly, resentful and sullen, even though he went through the motions with everyone as a group.
Then the fights for control began! Every day, relentless, remorseless hunting down and hurting every animal in his path. For a month or two, I resisted neutering as a method to calm him down. I tried homeopathy with the little I knew to no effect - the transformation was so fast and furious. I managed to stop him from hurting other animals but it was a 24/7 duty and frazzled my nerves! Until one day it was my turn.
He'd growled and warned me off stopping his attacks many times before but I'd always managed to calm him down and send him off to cool down. This particular time though he didn't want to stop, maybe needed to fight me for alpha rights. The attack was savage, mauled my arm and chest badly and I only survived because I was able to keep him off my throat. I was terrified for him, for the people and animals around too, but mostly for him because everyone was asking me to euthanize him as a rabies risk, and a danger to society.
I had to fight people off, compromise with other solutions and isolate him. I had him neutered and vaccinated the same day to avoid discussion. It took 3 men to catch him after I'd isolated & sedated him, my arm was too bad to help.
I had resisted neuter & vax hoping he'd grow taller, finish growing, but since he was nearly a year old, I couldn't wait any longer. I couldn't risk him biting a human or animal with rabies and becoming a vector, being killed for it!
His enormous physical strength alone was terrifying the neighborhood and men were beginning to fear his extraordinary intelligence. Only women were unafraid of him and he was always particularly polite to them! Strange he never saw them as weak or a challenge, and that they saw him as a guardian and protector!
Either the vax or the neuter seemed to be the final straw that broke him. He never attacked me as badly again but a few times. I kept my distance as well. From then we were two alphas with our own packs - mine all the weaker, emotional dogs, his were the hunters: cruel, fast and defiant of human authority.
This was the time I had to learn Bach flower remedies - the only thing in energy medicine to help him (in all medicine actually - they had to give him 3x the normal sedation & anaesthetic to operate on him. The vets said they'd never seen such a strong, chemically-resistant dog).
Far from preventing his violent attacks on other animals, neutering made him a cunning, cruel, and very cerebral alpha!
He's the only animal that I've been determined to euthanise before I died. The others would manage, even get people to love them, without me.
But Gunda's potent combination of nervous, high strung alertness, anxiety, high IQ, suspicion and physical strength would make his life without my protection, a living hell. They'd have to break his spirit to control him because no chain, wall or gate could hold him - he'd fight for freedom even at the cost of his sanity and life.
No man could have authority over him and he couldn't stand weakness in human (alcoholics, drug addicts, old men, poor men, scared men) or animal (limping, blind, sick or distracted cats, rats, bandicoots, dogs, cows, donkeys, horses). He had no compassion or empathy. No room got error in others because he was so perfect.
The vax made his body sinewy, corded muscle with little fat. His muscles stood out in knots and no amount of homeopathy could remove that vax effect. His skin grew thick, tethery and hard like leather. He developed bone problems - spinal weakness, a disjointed gait, restlessness. His appetite was perverted eating enormous quantities many times a day, but never putting on weight. Nutrients seemed to simply pass through him not assimilated. I attribute all this to vax but it could have just been the change that was happening.
No testosterone meant he controlled his girlfriend with domination alone not letting any other dog near her. She loved it though, the silly girl.:)
I had to separate all the old, weak ones so he only had those he respected around him.
Around this time the cat population boomed. With this hunter at work, organizing a team, day and night, none were safe. He found a way to get on the streets every night.
He did experiment with nipping at three humans but I sat him down and with many mental images of hospitals, vets and death, told him that if he did it again, no power on earth, not me or anything could save him from death by needle. The govt would have him killed not incarcerated. He was so smart he understood either the words or the images - he never bit a human again.Chased bikes and cars, but no biting the rest of his life.
About a year after change/neuter/vax he developed throat and skin problems. His skin grew black.
The two years after were uninterrupted nightly jaunts, barking all night (almost baying, a sound not common to the local street dogs which set him apart vocally) and increasing territory. He guarded his kingdom jealously every night, organizing raids into other alphas territories to acquire more.
He accepted my routine of mealtimes & walks docilely enough, but he was so difficult to handle that we'd have to sneak out between 2 am - 4 am so that no living creature caught his eye! But we had a routine and a life together.
In the last eight months I neglected the dogs because of the number of sick kittens these mama cats were bringing to me. Along with a kitten (foam kit) he and his gang of terrorists had bitten but not killed. They'd killed many by then.
I thought I saw more maturity in him in the last year, but with hindsight, I'm not sure if it was just the disease growing slowing him down. (This energy disease travels down the chakra line but more on that in the next post.)
Two months ago, he looked at me again like he did as a puppy, dancing when I was singing, which took me aback but made me happy that he remembered our old relationship of love and fun. (It was the Kali iod dose that probably did it, end of May.).
All of last month he would obey me unquestioningly, stop on a dime if I called him, follow me around sheepishly for a short while. It was confusing so I paid no heed since he'd still bully others and behave badly when I wasn't looking.
Two weeks ago, a day or so after the "killshot" earth-directed CME, I noticed that the weaker dogs were rebelling against him, barking and growling if he came close, defying his growls. He'd give up easily too. I didn't pay much attention again thinking it was a sun effect which would go after the geomagnetic storm. Sun effects don't just go. I should have known.
His breathing got stentorian all of the last 2 weeks when he slept. He slept rarely being an active dog. It would sound like snoring, but that was probably when his lungs were hepatizing rapidly. During the day he could barely open his eyes for narcolepsy and he had developed some photophobia.
Again, two kittens were sick so I got distracted. He'd never let me give him homeopathy unless it was in the food for all the animals so I offered a remedy, he refused, and I went back to treating kittens.
In last week, the other dogs began to look happy and excited. I've seen this kind of excitement before when an alpha is dying. I was filled with dread and sorrow because despite our difficult relationship, I loved him. He loved me too, very much. He'd sneak into my blanket or sleep at my feet in the early hours of the morning before the walk. He loved Reiki (not homeopathy) and would find my hands and snuggle into them. If I woke up, he'd get up and leave looking bored or busy. Too proud to let me help him openly!
The minute I realised he was dying and he knew that I knew, he'd let me hug him. But not heal him! Except for prana breathing from a distance and Reiki from a distance, he wanted nothing more than for me to be around.
I considered putting him through the trauma of a vet intervention many times especially the last three days when his breathing wouldn't come under control.
But even a drop of homeopathy, a stranger or new vehicle on the road would upset him to anxiety, stubborn to the end. So I just sat around him and tweeted or healed his beloved girlfriend which he liked very much. And on and off tried to heal him at a distance but his energy accumulation was enormous and I couldn't make a dent without causing him discomfort.
I did do the prana breathing and healed with Reiki from a distance even if he didn't like it and put remedies in food and water in the end against his wishes because I couldn't bear to just sit by. I think on the last day he forgave me for trying.
He stood in the sun during the last 2 days almost inviting death(?) or healing, I don't know. 2 nights before he died he invited me to go with him as he walked through all his rivals territories again (the ones he'd fought so long to obtain!). With all his struggle to breathe, he still ate their food, drank a second rival gang's water; wagged his tail at a fat white cat in the park with evil intent-to-pursue to watch her flee for her life (all this with his breathing oppressed and hard!), defaecated on another rival's territory before returning home. He was showing off! ... to me! Sharing what was important to him - all the power and wealth of the dog world!
The next day I was too tired and anxious for him to sit or walk with him. Everyone assured me he wouldn't die and insisted I go off to sleep. I did. He snuck into bed for the last time and this time, cuddled when I woke for a half hour, taking in the Reiki. The energy close to his body was stuck, so thick that I could push it down and energy-brush him with my fingers. It seemed to relieve him, he couldn't wag his tail but he smiled with his eyes and cuddled closer. In the morning he pretended to eat a little of the kitten food he used to love to steal so much. But he'd stopped drinking water from the evening before so I knew he was preparing to go, the eating was just from affection.
Then we hung around and he let me give him all I wanted to give without resistance for a half hour - homeopathy, Reiki and prana breath, hugs. From noon to 4:00 pm he could only stand and breathe but would go in the street to avoid my distant healing efforts. He came for a last walk with the other dogs at 4 pm.
At 4:30 pm he came running in the gate towards me so I knew the end was here. He got dizzy and fell. We ran up to him, his girlfriend, best friend and I, and he moaned once, for the first time in his life, as his heart convulsed. His girl and his best friend ran up with me. I held on to him for the last two breathes, talking to him and he was gone by 4:35, 5 mins later. RIP, alpha.
Sunday, July 31, 2016
I think all my writing is just to clear headspace so the guides can push in new stuff. They don't seem to care that it isn't consistent either!
I guess they're clear thinking pragmatists like the Prof who said, all theses should be accepted by the university and thrown in the dustbin.:) Only way to move forward is not to get attached to the previous idea, I guess.
The yawning I've been doing to collect prana appears to be an imperfect way. There's clearer prana if you breathe with a combination of nose and mouth breathing but do the jagged lightning breaths sub-actually (I'm going for something like subvocal here! You're not actually breathing but imagining breathing).
So it has to start higher, heading towards the Ajna chakra I think.
The first time I did it, one kitten lying on me almost feel into a coma like sleep with it's head lolling off my tummy and another kitten set off a tremendous fart! Both scared and amused me so much I couldn't work up the concentration again.
if a kitten hasn't farted at you, you've no idea what you've missed. It isn't hydrogen sulphide, more like arsenic fumes!:)